I figured it was about time for me to pick up where I left off with them good ole' Survey Scenarios. So I bring unto you Part FA (4).
Scenario 16: Imagine that the world was populated by billions of people. Countries were at war with each other, natural disasters were constantly devastating local and foreign lands, and Obama was running havoc in Washington DC. Well, the only thing Obama would be running is the debt through the roof because he doesn't know how to run a government and smoking cigarettes like a sea hag and running around the DC Mall in the morning aren't compatible extracurricular activities. So now imagine you were on a quest to pick out your soul mate within the hustle of it all. How would you be able to spot her out?
Me: I would have to say that, first and foremost, she would have to be the most beautiful, most intelligent, most spiritual yerba mate drinking Argentine with ties to Canada and the East Coast U.S. She'd definitely have to be Mormon and come from the raddest familia. She'd love chocolate and make alfajores. We'd finally reunite in person in the land down under in perfect fashion. We would communicate constantly through Viber as we were apart even to the point that Viber would pay us millions of dollars to use our love story of how we lived happily ever after as a commercial.
Scenario 17: So everyone always wonders what all this KBB, _\•/_ sign stuff you are always mentioning actually is. Are your representing a set of some sort? I didn't think Mormons were allowed to do that. I'm worried about you Ev.
Me: KBB represents Kahuku Bodyboarders. It is a crew of bodyboarders representing this Koolauloa side of Oahu. I just so happen to be a part of it. It has no gang affiliation and, no, I'm not crip-ing or die-ing. Even though "There ain't no such thing as half way crooks. Scared to death, scared to look. They shook." -Mobb Deep
Scenario 18: Why are you always getting in the way of cars going up Naupaka Street? It's pretty dang annoying when we are trying to drive up to go visit our fellow BYUH comrades and some annoying half Tongan is hogging up space in the street, running and sweating, looking at his watch, running and sweating. What are you doing and why are you doing it?
Me: I like to sprint up hills. Deal with it. I just realized that jogging long distance is boring, for people that don't like having muscle, and takes too long. I figured that when you're younger and doing sports, you do sprints to get into shape. I figure if I want to stay young and strong then I might as well hog up space on that hill and get in the way of your unregistered rusted piece of crap car.
Scenario 19: Suzuki Sidekicks are so small and compact and almost look like some WWII SS vehicle. Not saying you support anything like the SS. Just saying that you have kind of a puny car. Then again, you must get good gas mileage so who is laughing now?
Me: I love my puny car. It fits in small and hard to reach spaces your petrol burning v8 Tundra cannot. It has 4x4 so it can ramble through tough terrain. The only thing is it has been down for almost a month now. Thing is moody. While it's irritating, such is life sometimes. Being carless, though, makes me feel like I'm a teenager waiting for mom to get home to use her car.
Scenario 20: Be honest Ev, are you Mexican? If not, what's up with all this #likeacholo this, #likeacholo that nonsense. Talk about identity crisis.
Me: Since when do I have to conform to some imaginary set of rules you just pulled out of your rear end? I speak Spanish fluently, love Mexico and Mexican food and culture, and feel like calling people cholos because I feel like it #likeacholo. Maybe I should make shirts that say it just to rub it in your face #likeacholo. $20 cholo?